It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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