dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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