Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize