I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
