As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
