i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize