Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize