1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
