My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
