i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
