I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
