Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
