M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
