guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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