im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
