When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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