Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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