It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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