I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
