we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
