K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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