After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
