You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
