Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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