so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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