I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
