please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
