Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
either way he was missing a nipple.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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