so that wasnt chicken after all
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
