ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
