Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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