I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
