The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize