im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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