I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
