I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
