I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
