Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
