Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Plan B is the new Plan A
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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