y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
