Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ugly people sure do ruin things
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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