Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
