That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
