YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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