Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
