i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
