I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
