her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
