remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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