o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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