like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
