From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
How's work?
Spinning.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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