Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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