Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
