It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
