I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
