It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
