Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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