can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
