Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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