I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
