DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize