Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize