i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
