are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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